this post is a bit different that others, so you'll just have to bear with me, but sometimes i have thots in my head that are just wanting to come out and this is one of those times. every family is different and everyone parents differently, but tonight this is what's running through my head and my heart . . .
there is a struggle that so many parents face - work and family. you need to work in order to provide for your family, but then there are those times that because of work you miss what is important to someone in your family. how does that make sense?
right now braden is in italy for work and today was the day of making sure that i went to all the kids' things - but i missed one. I've spent over 9 years making sure that i was always at my children's activities and special events and this past year i haven't been able to make it to anything that was in the evening due to my work. i met emma's teacher for the first time today - and it's may! what's with that?!?!? today i made it to emma's student led conference at 10am, then to kaleb's at 1pm, but then at 5:30 i needed to go to work and the kids went to awana. i thought that i did good.
Kaleb's project on the Canada Goose
when the kids came home and went to bed i was putting away navia's bag when out dropped a paper. it was an invitation to the cubbies awards ceremonies - may 6 - tonite! i guess last week i just put her bag away without looking inside and then we just grabbed it today for awana. i sent her without even knowing that tonight was her awards night. i guess there a program with presentations and awards and navia even came home with a little cubbie award badge for me to sew onto her cubbie vest. each family even brought refreshments to share with everyone afterwards. i can just picture navia as the only little girl there without parents there. she didn't get to sit or eat with her parents or show them what she's been doing all year. i know she's only 4 and won't really remember this, but i will. when the note fell out i came upstairs and asked emma if there were a lot of families there tonight and she told me that there were tons of parents in navia's class and if i could please come next week because it's her's and kaleb's awards ceremony. hmmm. i think emma doesn't want to be like navia was tonight.
i know that this isn't the first time that work has interfered with family, but it is the first time it has with navia - she's the only one that i've always been there for - and now i guess the time has come that she's going to realize that i can't be there for her all the time either. it just sucks! i know that this is going to happen more, especially because i'm going to be teaching more next year, but it doesn't make it any easier.
out of this i've also realized that i couldn't be a single parent or have a husband that is away a lot. brade is only gone for 4 days - really not long at all - and emma and kaleb have both missed their first baseball games and navia had no one to watch her get her very first awana badge. and that's just in 4 days . . . how in the world would it be like if i didn't have the supportive husband and father that is around all the time and will come home just to take a sick kid to the doctors if i'm working and can't. God really blessed us with him and although i'm sure that i take him for granted often, i really need to watch it, because we're pretty lucky - he is our gift - and an amazing one!
so, maybe i make sure to look in my kids' bags so that i don't miss important things, maybe i spend more time with them doing what they want and not what i want, maybe i spend time just talking with them as individuals, maybe i spend more time praying with them and for them, and maybe i accept the fact that work is something that needs to be done, but there is a lot of time in the day that i can take out for my children - and sometimes i'll miss something that is important to them, but they know that i love them - fully and completely . . . . . (and they'll take lots of pictures for me so they can show me what happened!)
This video below is Kaleb showing telling us the story of The Three Little Pigs in French. It looks like he's reading something, but he really isn't - he did amazing and I had no idea that my little boy could talk this well in another language - especially one that I don't understand!
